Si los libros fuesen como los CDs...
Harold, el mayordomo, se acercó a la mesa silencioso como un gato. La condesa alargó su mano sin perder por un instante la compostura y la elegancia, retirando la cápsula de cianuro de la bandeja de plata que portaba su sirviente.
Con un gesto meditado, la señora inclinó levemente su cabeza hacia atrás depositando el contenido en su boca. Luego cerró con fuerza sus labios aferrándose a la cápsula, haciendo un último acopio de fuerza mientras esperaba lo inevitable.
La condesa sufrió un leve espasmo, con sus ojos abiertos,las pupilas dilatadas, clavadas en la danza simiesca de las llamas que un lujoso candelabro plateado, tallado con una generosa profusión de arabescos plateados, proyectaba en la pared.
Exhalando ruidosamente su último aliento de vida, la condesa expiró.
El rostro de la condesa Dragomiroff, desencajado tras la breve agonía, se reflejaba en la bandeja temblorosa de Harold en una imagen borrosa de su existencia.
-¡Joder! ¡Que me cago por las patas pa'bajo!
El mayordomo llegó al baño justo a tiempo para quitarse bruscamente los pantalones y dejar que una catarata de mierda explotase en el inodoro. Pfgrgrrrrrrrrrrggg, prroffghhh, fiuuuuusss, poc poc poc. La mierda líquida de Harold iba acompañada de un concierto de pedos que estaban escandalizando a la condesa Dragomiroff.
-¡Dios Harold! ¡Qué puto asco!
El mayordomo apenas pudo hablar entrecortadamente, todo su gas se le iba por el culo.
-La... comidaa... condesaa. Mal estadooo...
La condesa echó a correr ante el inminente desastre pero era demasiado tarde. La mierda empezó a correrle a chorros empapando de marrón su caro traje de seda. Un agua hedionda y llena de extraños y repugnantes bultitos comenzó a chorrear por el suelo, ante la mirada atónita de sus invitados.
-¡¡Joder, qué mierda!!
Sus ilustres invitados, con la boca abierta, observaban el espectáculo de la señora tirándose de los pelos rebozada en sus propios excrementos y a Harold resbalando una y otra vez sobre estos. El mayordomo, con su traje irreconocible tenía el rostro lleno de las heces de la condesa.
Moraleja 2: NO PIRATEES CDs musicales (no se merecen que les escuches)
Comentarios:
rucito (rucito at mac dot com) el 28/10/2005 - 09:39
Muerte a la SGAE. Muerte a los derechos musicales. si fuesen directamente al artista, otro gallo nos cantaría. Pero, como siempre, el negocio es el negocio. si es que tiran más dos tetas que el arte...
rucito (rucito at mac dot com) el 28/10/2005 - 09:40
Como si no tuviera mejores cosas en las que invertir el dinero que en pagarle las pitanzas al "canario" Teddy Bautista. Por mí, como si se muere de hambre.
swyx el 28/10/2005 - 10:10
Esto, amigos, es un claro ejemplo de la involución que sufrimos. Además, muy bien plasmado. Ponte otra medalla tío
nei el 29/10/2005 - 01:28
Yo no sé si es porque llevo una semana muy jodida y ando algo sensible, pero me ha dado auténtico ajco, ajco, ajco, puajjjj.
Deberías haber puesto aquí sólo la moraleja, y el resto del texto habérselo enviado a la SGAE.
Que por cierto, el pavo que los representa en mi zona, tiene todita la pinta del cochero de drácula y encima el gilipollas lleva siempre colgado un reproductor mp3.
"Supongo que para escuchar tus copias de seguridad ¿verdad?" le dije con sonrisilla sarcástica.
"Es para oir la radio" respondió mirándome con asco.
Desde entonces, él me persigue con mayor vehemencia para que le de la declaración de ingresos y subveniones de la empresa y yo ... tengo un orgasmo mientras falseo los números escuchando el nothing else matter sito en la carpeta incoming de mi pc.
thessoro (thessoro at gmail dot com) el 30/10/2005 - 18:53
Como dice pumares la SGAE es como la iglesia, da igual lo pequeño que sea el pueblo o localidad, siempre habrá un representante de la SGAE y un párroco. Las dos mafias más grandes del mundo se lo montan muy bien a la hora de extender sus tentáculos y tocarnos los huevos con ellos.
a*o*e el 1/11/2005 - 03:55
¿Que les escuches?, ¿los cedeses? Al fin la mayor contribución de la cultura cántabra, el leismo exacerbado (sí, me encanta esa palabra. Me compraría un CD con 80 minutos de 2400 personas distintas mentándola) te ha calado.
O igual te referías a los artistas. Pero eso quita romanticismo, o algo, a mi reflexión anterior (sólo una costilla más y lo conseguiré...).
Me he leído sólo el primer párrafo y las moralejas. Supongo que los demás serían mejores que los que imaginé previsibles, pero no podía correr ese riesgo.
Apuesto a que el próximo pox versará sobre Leonor de Aqui Tania, Aqui No. Ojalá me equivoque :D
¡Queremos más reflexiones de ese tal Pumares! :esmiliconpancarta:
Netor el 1/11/2005 - 04:40
Pero qué exacerbadamente mal me caen los rectifiperseguidores.
Ha hecho ud. una perfecta reflexión SaboríoPumeril. Más empalagarían.
Eso sí, he de confesar, sr/a. a*o*e, que yo también me temo lo peor respecto a el próximo post.
Me vuelvo a mi mundo irreal, que lo real me pilla algo lejos.
nei el 1/11/2005 - 04:45
Ayyyyyyy.
thessoro, que va a ser que aquí no funcionan los y similares ¿verdad? ¬¬
Que conste que el "a el" del anterior comentario iba en negrita. Ains.
thessoro (thessoro at gmail dot com) el 1/11/2005 - 18:38
Lamentablemente me refería a los cantantes, no a los CDs. El malévolo espíritu cántabro aún no ha ahondado tanto en mí.
Uhmmm ya no se que quereis que funcione y lo que no xD.
el [ b ] [ /b ] es para poner negritas
el :smileyconpancarta: definitivamente no va
Ya funciona el [quote = nick ] cita [ /quote]
nei el 2/11/2005 - 01:00
Vale, es que yo estaba empeñada en poner mayores y menores que. Debe ser una malformación genética en mi cerebro o algo.
Gracias por los quotes :)
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Autor: thessoro
Fecha: 28/10/05 [00:11]
Categoría: Sociedad
Leido: 2413 veces
