Comisario Pardon (II)

Asesinato en el matadero
El cadáver pendía, con expresión grotesca, de un gancho para reses.

El Comisario Pardon se agachó a los pies del cadáver, recogió una
colilla y se la mostró a Hastings. El comisario mostró una sonrisa triunfal.
- ¡Fíjese Hastings lo que nos han dejado!
- ¡Estupendo!


El Comisario Pardon sacó un mechero y prendió la colilla:
- ¡Siempre se lo dejan a la mitad! ¡Ni que lo regalasen!
- ¿¡Pero oiga qué esta haciendo!? -Hastings se llevó las manos a la cabeza.
- ¡Vaya! Tiene usted razón -Pardon arrojó al suelo la colilla y la pisoteó-. Había dejado de fumar.
El Comisario miró despreocupado a su alrededor.

- Fíjese teniente. La tremenda lucha que hubo de haber aquí, las
paredes repletas de sangre. La lucha fue sin tregua y duró varias
horas. Hay sangre reseca y sangre más fresca.
- Es posible -concedió Hastings.- Aunque también podría ser sangre de los animales sacrificados, estamos en un matadero.

El Comisario continuó divagando sin prestarle atención-. Al parecer, la
víctima se cayó sobre este gancho a dos metros de altura y se ensartó,
causándole la muerte.
- Qué pasa, ¿Estaba saltando? -el sarcasmo del teniente podría haber perforado un muro de hormigón.
- Jejeje. No es usted precisamente rápido mon ami- Pardon señaló con el dedo-. La pregunta obvia es: ¿Por qué saltaba la víctima?
Hizo una pausa dramática. Pardon giró la cabeza para observar la escena y comentó despreocupadamente:
- Afortunadamente mi mente va varios pasos por delante y ya ha dado tres posibles respuestas para nuestra duda.
- Apenas puedo esperar a saberlo -dijo Hastings entre dientes.

- La primera es obvia. La víctima saltó, harto de la vida y su trabajo.
Seguro que pensó que la mejor forma de morir debería ser la misma de
como terminan los miles de animales que pasaron por sus manos en el
matadero. ¿Acaso se le ocurre alguna forma más romántica de morir,
teniente?
- Pues la verdad es que unas cuantas.
- La segunda
respuesta. La víctima se llevó un susto tremendo, o quizá sufrió un
fuerte impacto: quizá se cortó con un cuchillo. El ser humano,
Hastings, cuando recibe alguna sorpresa tiene como reacción natural un
contraimiento de los músculos que se traduce en un repentino e
inesperado salto.
El comisario miró a su teniente, buscando en su rostro un interés inexistente.
- Sin embargo, mon ami,
la tercera... Sí. La tercera razón sólo podría haber surgido de la
mente ordenada y metódica de un investigador de primera línea.
- Podríamos llamarle por teléfono.

- Fíjese Hastings -el comisario no oía los comentarios del teniente,
sumido en el éxtasis de sus elucubraciones-. ¿Ve esa bombilla? Allí
arriba. ¿Qué la diferencia del resto de bombillas?
Pardon señalaba una bombilla en el techo, cerca del gancho de donde colgaba el cadáver.
- Que está apagada.
- No mon ami,
no usa usted sus pequeñas células grises -Pardon señaló su cabeza-. La
bombilla está fundida. La víctima se subió al gancho para poder
alcanzarla y cambiarla por una nueva. En el intento, cayó sobre el
afilado extremo.
El comisario sonrió con satisfacción después de su
triunfal discurso. Si Hastings tuvo alguna emoción, su rostro no lo
reflejó. Tan sólo añadió:
- Bien. Sí. Entonces ¿qué me dice de la nota que encontramos?
- ¿Qué nota?

- La que encontré y que usted leyó justo al entrar al matadero. Ésta
nota- Hastings sacó un papel de su bolsillo y se aclaró la garganta -. "Señores
policías, he matado al carnicero. Ahora iré a por tabaco y desapareceré
para siempre. Rogaría no comparasen la caligrafía de esta carta con la
de ningún empleado del matadero. Fdo: Un asesino desconocido.
"

Comentarios:

rucito (rucito at mac dot com) el 22/11/2005 - 12:42

Me alegro de que no comparasen todavía la caligrafía. Por cierto. el tabaco estaba muy bueno, más que la mierda de filetes que me servía ese jodido carnicero-usurero.
Fdo: Un asesino cada vez menos desconocido.

swyx el 22/11/2005 - 12:52

Esto me recuerda, vagamente, a la noticia de periódico que lei un día y no se me olvidará en la vida:

"Avión se estrella en el cementerio municipal de Lepe"

Las autoridades locales, intrigadas, rescatan miles de cadáveres de la zona preguntándose, al unísono: ¿como es posible que el avión no se estrellara antes con tanta carga de personal?

bla bla bla...

thessoro (thessoro at gmail dot com) el 22/11/2005 - 14:52

swyx dijo:

Las autoridades locales, intrigadas, rescatan miles de cadáveres de la zona preguntándose, al unísono: ¿como es posible que el avión no se estrellara antes con tanta carga de personal?


juasss

rucito andate con ojo que te seguimos la pista xD

rucito (rucito at mac dot com) el 24/11/2005 - 06:49

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Cómo has sabido que era yo??

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