Algunas preguntas

Nos cuentan que vivimos en la era de la información.
Pero es mentira. Sólo nos dicen lo que nos quieren contar, nos atiborran de chucherías baratas. Y luego no queremos el caviar.
Hay tantas preguntas que quedan sin respuesta. Preguntas para las que hemos sido educados a no preguntar. Pero ahí están, tan obvias como las otras, flotando en la mierda cagada por las ondas radiofónicas y por las páginas de los periódicos.
¿Cuánto tiempo ensaya el Rey el discurso de Nochebuena? ¿Quiénes son los cámaras? ¿O es que tiene el Rey un mando a distancia oculto para cambiar la cámara activa?
¿Si los audímetros miden la audiencia, el audífono de mi abuela para qué vale?
Seamos realistas. ¿Para qué coño sirve el pelo? Si la respuesta es protegerse del frío ¿No sería más fácil una capa amorfa de grasa protectora que una compleja estructura de cientos de miles de filamentos queratinizados cada uno con su folículo asociado? ¿Es la naturaleza tonta?
¿No es demasiada casualidad que tengamos diez dedos y el sistema numérico más frecuente sea el decimal? ¿Es el más eficaz o el más oportuno para contar con los dedos? ¿Si hubiésemos nacido con dos dedos hubiésemos contado en binario? ¿Si hubiésemos nacido con 3 dedos y un medio muñón, nuestra unidad fundamental hubiese sido PI y hubiésemos contado en múltiplos de él?
¿Si la regla huele a pescado a qué huele la regla de la Sirenita? Es más ¿Por dónde (coño) sangra la Sirenita? ¿Por la cloaca?
¿Qué tipo de ropa interior usa el Papa? (Aquí también podríamos preguntar ¿Y a qué huele?)
¿Por qué es divertido un puzzle?
Un día tiene 24 horas. ¿Por qué no se dividió en 25 partes? Así satisfaríamos a todos los idiotas que dicen "Necesito un día de 25 horas". Hay varias teorías históricas sobre la división del día en 24 partes iguales, lo aceptamos sin más, pero no hay una necesidad real de que sean 24 horas y no 50.

¿Qué tipo de mente perversa se toma la molestia de escuchar canciones de Xuxa al revés? ¿Es más diabólico eso o el hecho de que se escuchen supuestos mensajes apenas comprensibles y cogidos por pinzas? ¿O el rap de los Pokemon? http://jeffmilner.com/backmasking.htm

<kitkat>
http://www.santuario.com.ar/paginas/subli_latin.html
Aquí otro imbécil se dedica a escuchar al revés música latina como Shakira, Chayanne, Ricky Martin en busca de mensajes diabólicos. ¿No te das cuenta de que cuando son realmente diabólicos son al derecho?
Por mi parte yo también he ido buscando mis propios mensajes. Quien busca mensajes satánicos los encuentra. Yo buscaba recetas de cocina y también las encontré. En la canción 'The Yellow Submarine' hay una exquisita receta de merluza en salsa riojana escondida. Todo un bonus track.
</kitkat>

¿Por qué la Virgen María, José y el niño no pagaron un puto hostal con el oro que le dieron los Reyes Magos?
¿Por qué se dice que el arcoiris tiene 7 colores cuando realmente tiene todos los colores del espectro visible? Vale, porque nadie es tan pedante como para decir "mirad que bonito arco de espectro visible" Pero ¿Por qué 7 y no 10?

Muchas más preguntas, e incluso algunas con sentido, me hago a lo largo del día. Baste esta muestra para demostrar que nunca tenemos suficiente de eso llamado información. Es como una droga dura, igual que la heroína, la coca o el programa de la 2: "Pueblo de Dios".

Y recordad amigos:
Satnupacas deel satnupacas deel. Emoc al em natas, emoc al em natas.

Comentarios:

Azote el 14/12/2005 - 10:42

El discurso el rey no lo ensaya, lo graba el día 23 las veces que haga falta (generalmente dos).

El cámara nunca lo desvelan, pero es un hombre de confianza de RTVE (puede que Ramón García).

Los audífonos llevan un pequeño microproceador con una etapa amplificadora integrada. Tras amplificarla la mandan al transductor de salida, que generalmente se aloja dentro del conducto auditivo (en algunos casos en el conducto uterino, ¡Coño, que estruendo!).

El pelo sirve para protegerse del frío :D De un modo más eficiente que una capita de grasa (por eso hay tantas chicas con matas púbicas).

Y hay quien apunta que, la pérdida de él, fue debida a los piojos.

Usamos el sistema decimal porque lleva la suma y la multiplicación implícitas, al tratarse de un sistema posicional.

Había otros, como el maya (con base 20) y el de Babilonia (base 60), pero eran más complejos.

La Sirenita, como dejó Andersen escrito en su testamento, era ovovivípara. No menstrúa, porque ni es mujer ni delfín.

Y sí, sus huevos olían a pescado.

El Papa usa slips Abanderado.

Los puzzles no son divertidos.

La teoría histórica de que el día dure 24 horas es que la tierra tarda cuatro minutos menos en autorrotarse (patata).

¿Es más diabólica Xuxa introduciendo mensajes satánicos al revés, el tío que busca si Xuxa ha introducido mensajes satánicos al revés o tú que buscas gente que haya buscado si Xuxa introdujo mensajes satánicos al revés?

María y José necesitaban el hostal mucho antes de que llegaran los Reyes Magos.

Ellos llegaron post-parto, y era tarde ya y no compensaba pagar una noche de hostal (el check-out era a las 11).

Yo no veo ni siete colores en el arcoiris, así que no me planteo lo de todo el espectro. Newton ha sido el mayor farsante desde Quique Camoiras.

P.D: Muy bonita la canción del pan tumaca que pones en negrita.

thessoro (thessoro at gmail dot com) el 14/12/2005 - 12:04

muchas gracias por tu intensa labor googleliana, sobre todo con los sistemas numéricos maya y babilónico.
Yo realmente no busqué gente que haya buscado si Xuxa introdujo mensajes satánicos al revés. Inicialmente me plantée que de ser yo Xuxa (cosa que me pasa en sueños recurrentes cada vez más frecuentes) hubiese introducido dichos mensajes satánicos. Ello me llevó a una investigación y al contacto con otros colegas que vivieron los mismos extraños sueños. Sorprendentemente, no sólo nosotros de haber sido Xuxa lo hubiésemos hecho sino que la propia Xuxa lo hizo, lo cual nos lleva a pensar que nosotros mismos somos un poco más Xuxa cada vez.

Azote el 14/12/2005 - 12:23

De nada. Procuro usar siempre el Google, intentando evitar tus googleads :D

Lo de la axuxación de la población también lo he leído. En la página de los mayas, creo.

¿Era la canción de 'Oliver y Benji', la que escuchada al revés, decía 'Viva Hitler'?

Ilari, lari, larie, oh, oh, oh (en castellano).
Ilari, lari, larie, o, o, o (en portugués).

*Estribillos sacados de la web de Xuxa, de lo que deduzco que en portugués 'oh' se dice 'o'.

:confused:

Ilari, lari y larie son universales, que esto no es ruso.

thessoro (thessoro at gmail dot com) el 14/12/2005 - 17:24

Sí, supuestamente dice viva Hitler, aunque tengo el mp3 y no se entiende absolutamente nada, podría ser viva hitler o "me gusta el martini seco". Hay otros ejemplos más claros y menos paranoicos.

thessoro (thessoro at gmail dot com) el 14/12/2005 - 17:28

Hay una página en la que habla seriamente sobre el tema (por fin algo interesante en Sacapuntas)
http://www.reversespeech.com/spanish.htm
Obviando el hecho de que el tío de la foto sea, efectivamente, la Pantoja de Puerto Rico, algunas cosas que pone no están mal.
http://www.reversespeech.com/Simple_Examples.htm
El ejemplo de The house is on fire pone los pelos de punta. Al parecer el fenómeno tiene más que ver con la entonación de las frases que con los fonemas en ellas presentes.

blink el 15/12/2005 - 13:47

Tenéis que decirme (ambos) urgentemente quién es vuestro camello, porque pasa una mierda cojonuda! xDDD

Azote el 16/12/2005 - 12:31

Hola Blink, así des-ned-o de avatar no te reconocía.

Mi camello es el vecino del sotanillo, el que escucha a Medina Azahara a toda voz los domingos por la mañana (igual hasta completa el ritual dominical repartiendo hostias).

Me agarra de los cúbitos en las escaleras y me dice, ¿A que quieres algo?

Y yo no sé decir no; de ahí mi poligamia (están el poli bueno, el poli malo y el poli gamia, que, irónicamente, no se casa con nadie).

Parece que el webmaster ha disminuido el ritmo de artículos... estará ocupado haciendo otras webs. Vendido.

thessoro (thessoro at gmail dot com) el 16/12/2005 - 13:49

Yo no he disminuido nada ¬¬'... salvo mi psíquico

Dexiree (negritabella_1980 at hotmail dot com) el 24/1/2006 - 14:56

Hola!!
jajajaj que bien, que este chico haya contestado todas y cada una de las idioteses quu menciona este estupido!! bien por el oye si que estas falto de cerebro o de vida personal como para hacerte tantas mendigas preguntas !!

maxi (digeronimomaxi at hotmail dot com) el 24/5/2006 - 22:02

No es coincidencia que en las canciones de esta loca Xuxa halla ciertos mensajes, quizás fue mala suerte.
yo mismo invertí una canción y escuché "Satan is infinity" suena a latin. hermoso, ja ja.
Aparte esta es una mujer degenerada.

CHIKITAS MY BABYS (chiks_malas at hotmail dot com) el 4/7/2007 - 16:10

Por qué ?????????? nooooooo....nooooo puede ser...mummy help me!!!...Help me out!!!

clair el 15/10/2007 - 19:38

hagan cosas de provecho

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