No fastidies

Como todos sabréis ya a partir del 1 de Enero entra en vigor la ley antitabaco. Lo sabéis de sobra porque no paran de dar la vara con el mismo tema a todas horas e incluso el informativo de Antena 3 ha puesto una cabecera estilo "Guerra de Irak" con música inquietante de los días que quedan para su entrada en vigor (en su línea de patético amarillismo). Para colmo nos aburren con programas estilo secta americana , telepredicadores lavando cerebros con su programa de ayer para dejar de fumar. Como era de esperar no fue mas que una estafa aburrida y una pérdida de tiempo donde volvió a quedar patente la absoluta y profunda subnormalidad de Teresa Viejo.
Quisiera yo a propósito de la nueva ley, proponer algunas otras cosas que me molestan y afectan a mi salud y por tanto deberían ser prohibidas de nuestros lugares de ocio y trabajo.
Los niños. Deje al niño en casa cuando salga. No se engañe, su niño es tonto y no disfruta con plenitud de la misma sensación de ocio que usted experimenta, aún tiene el CI de Teresa Viejo y no es plenamente consciente. Su hijo sólo toca los cojones cuando lo saca al bar y no para de corretear entre los clientes gritando como un bicho enjaulado. Ni usted disfruta ni el niño disfruta ni por supuesto el resto de clientes disfruta. Recuerde que bares y restaurantes son lugares apropiados para la existencia de cuchillos y otras armas de defensa activa. Los gritos y el continuo movimiento de sus mascotas produce irritación en los tímpanos, estrés y mala hostia en general.

No hace tanto tiempo uno se podía echar una siesta en los viajes de autobús de largo recorrido. Ahora es completamente imposible: suena un puñetero móvil cada 30 segundos a todo volumen y con melodías progresivamente más irritantes. ¿Quién me paga a mí por esas horas de sueño perdido? ¿Cuántos años de vida pierdo por culpa de no descansar lo suficiente? El ruido ambiental es calidad de vida. ¿Quién me asegura que no voy a quedarme sordo por culpa de los tonos de los móviles?
Si fuese juez y tuviera que ahorcar a todos los imbéciles del mundo bastaría hacerles una llamada perdida. Parece que escogen la melodía más estridente y odiosa a propósito para despertarte en los autobuses, para molestarte en los bares y restaurantes, para llamar la atención para que les mires y escuches su estúpida y trivial conversación a voces en mitad del lugar.

En fin, hay muchas cosas que no me gustan, que afectan a mi calida de vidad, a mi salud, a mi paciencia y a mis nervios. Niños, bebés, móviles, la gorda con risa de hiena en la mesa de al lado, la pareja que no para de magrearse y parece que va a copular entre los cafés y los creps; la mierda de música que me ponen en los bares. Deberían vender los discos de Paulina Rubio, Shakira y similares con una advertencia de las Autoridades Sanitarias: "La música latina es el cáncer para tus oídos" ó  "Escuchar esta basura provoca una muerte lenta y dolorosa".
Pero no os confiéis amigos del resto de las drogas. Ahora toca el tabaco pero pronto, cuando se aburran, irán contra los cafeinómanos, los teinómanos e incluso los cocainómanos.
El tabaco afecta a tu salud. ¿Y qué no lo hace? Cualquier tipo de radiación electromagnética es dañina para el oganismo. Hasta qué punto y con qué potencia es algo que aún nos tienen que demostrar. ¿Y qué mas da?. Si las antenas de los móviles produjesen cáncer la gente escogería el cáncer a estar incomunicados. Seguirían hablando y hablando de las mismas chorradas por el móvil, con la misma melodía odiosa, sólo que con un enorme tumor adosado al cráneo.

Comentarios:

Azote el 28/12/2005 - 21:04

Je, que el día 1 entra en vigor una ley antitabaco... casi cuela. Menos mal que he visto el 28 en alguna parte.

De acuerdo en todo lo demás.

Las radiaciones electromagnéticas son malas para el "oganismo", Teresa Viejo es más estúpida que tres tristes viejos y pronto perseguirán a los cocainómanos.

Pero retira lo de Paulina Rubio...

Yo también tengo melodía odiosa. Sobre todo cuando llama una tal Andrea.

swyx el 28/12/2005 - 22:05

Así que es el 28? Mira que bien, tenemos 28 días más para ejercer de españoles. Y me explico. ¿Qué es más castizo que ir a un bar a echarse un café o una caña y prenderse un cigarro? Nada.

Esta ley -como a muchos otros, imagino- me parece la mayor soplapollez del mundo mundial. O sea. Ya no por mí porque puedo fumarme un cigarro en la calle o donde sea. Sino por los dueños de los locales donde, vaya, entran bares, recreativos, discotecas... Que prohiban el tabaco en museos, bibliotecas, exposiciones, oye, de puta madre. A esos sitios no va nadie y el que va, por lo general, es un tío o tía educado o educada que puede reprimir el tabaco durante un rato. Pero, ¿se imagináis una discoteca o pub sin tabaco? Ja, es que se me saltan las lágrimas de risa ná más de pensarlo.

Espero que esta estupidísima ley dure muy poquito o que hagan elecciones y gane cualquier otro que la elimine porque, amigos y amigas, me veo una guerra civil como mínimo.

Si seguimos así, la próxima será la ley seca. Nada de alcohol en ningún sitio ya sea público o privado. Nos van a hacer los más sanos y sanas del mundo, sí. Pero también los más irascibles e irasciblas. Agüita

thessoro (thessoro at gmail dot com) el 29/12/2005 - 14:09

la ley la aprobaron todos (pa una vez que están deacuerdo) así que dudo mucho que nadie la retire en el futuro. Además, este tipo de leyes no suelen ser de quita y pon, se da el paso y a joderse todos, si no imaginate para el empresario andar quitando y poniendo las zonas estancas cada 4 años.
Lo de oganismo no es una errata. organismo se parece a orgasmo y hace demasiado que no tengo uno bueno así que escribirlo me cuesta mucho.

rucito (rucito at mac dot com) el 2/1/2006 - 07:41

Un pitillito para celebrar el año nuevo??

ariana (liseth1028 at mail dot com) el 24/10/2006 - 17:50

muestrenme un sacaputa con depósito

thessoro (thessoro at gmail dot com) el 24/10/2006 - 20:18

eso que es un condon?

luis felipe (luis30_chivas at hotmail dot com) el 8/2/2007 - 20:21

oigan hablen del tema por fVOR NO SEAN PEN...... SI QUIERO HABLAR SOBRE DARWIN ME PONEN SOBRE LA COCINA HACEN PUBLICIDAD DE OTRA COSA Y

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