Bienvenidos a la web de Gilbertito

¿Hola? ¿Se me oye?... Ehmmm... Bueno, éste es mi primer post y estoy un poco nervioso. Thessoro me ha pedido que escriba algo en su página web, pero no sé muy bien qué. Me ha dicho:
-Toma, este es tu login y tu password. Por cada artículo o comentario que borres te cortaré un tentáculo-

No tengo mucho que decir, así que escribiré sobre mí mismo:
Me llamo Gilbertito... No es mi nombre real, sólo un apodo que me puso thessoro ya que según él el mío tenía un "alto grado de impronunciabilidad" en vuestro idioma.

Yo le contesté que no existía la palabra impronunciabilidad, y que de existir, su grado de impronunciabilidad sería paradójicamente alto.
Sin duda thessoro me puso ese nombre en honor a algún heroico ídolo de vuestra raza, algún científico, o algún general ilustre.
Vengo de un universo cercano, a la derecha de la constelación de Orión, donde brillan los rayos C en la oscuridad de la puerta de Tanhäuser.
Soy un científico Tanhäusereano que me encontraba realizando algunas pruebas en el ortoreactor helicoidal. Era un trabajo rutinario midiendo las fisuras del continuo espacio-tiempo, dejé en la mesa el martillo que ajusta el ortoreactor y encendí más velas, puesto que apenas podía ver.
El mechero cuántico chisporroteó quemándome un tentáculo, y del susto caí en uno de las fisuras que estudiaba.
Sobre cómo thessoro me encontró y me invitó a su casa lo dejaré para otra ocasión. ¡No voy a gastar toda mi tinta en un solo artículo!

Por cierto... a pesar de las apariencias, ¡NO soy un pulpo! Es una asociación comprensible, pero me ofende que me confundan con un ser tan primitivo.

Hablando de seres primitivos... me resulta curiosa la lentitud de evolución del ser humano.
Mucho tiempo atrás nuestra raza era parecida a la vuestra. Teníamos solamente cuatro extremidades,(¿Se lo pueden creer?)
Eramos altos, fuertes, rubios... horribles!. Nuestros científicos tardaron siglos en buscar una solución a esa aberración de la naturaleza. Encontraron que la forma idónea, el modelo que cualquier ser vivo debería seguir para conseguir una maxima eficiencia era la de un ser pequeño y multitentacular.

A partir de ese mismo momento los fetos Tanhäusereanos recibieron una fuerte terapia génica que lograba los efectos deseados mediante sucesivas mutaciones.

Y ya nos veis ahora: Pequeños, prácticos... Nuestra superioridad motriz es incuestionable, manejamos hasta ocho objetos al mismo tiempo, cabemos en cualquier sitio, nuestro atractivo sexual... bueno, salta a la
vista, miren mi foto.
(Aviso: la imagen de Gilbertito(tm) puede variar)

Vosotros, perdona que os lo diga así tan claramente, teníais muchas pistas en la naturaleza para comenzar la metamorfosis, pero no visteis en la sencillez del pulpo una guía para conseguir ser mejores seres vivos.

Fijáos si no en vuestro tamaño, ¡Sois enormes! ¡Y para lo que hacéis!
¡Sois de una poca eficacia volúmica espantosa! El espacio es un bien escaso y lo desperdiciáis.
Vuestros manos y dedos son herramientas aceptables de manipulación, pero carecen de la agilidad (por no hablar de la utilidad de las ventosas) de nuestros potentes tentáculos. Y esas piernas... tan largas!!
Para qué?
Bueno voy a dejarlo por hoy, os contaré muchas cosas sobre mí, y mi vida diaria en vuestro planeta.
Siento haberme presentado así. Ya sé que es de mal gusto criticar los defectos ajenos, sobre todo cuando son reales, así que me disculpo por ello.
Un saludo!

Comentarios:

lisbeth (la_loba933 at hotmail dot com) el 23/11/2005 - 12:38

quiero saber que signifiica tentaculo del pulpo

2016722yuanyuan (kyuanyuan921 at 163 dot com) el 22/7/2016 - 16:30

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