Fraga y el Grial

    Fraga ha perdido la mayoría absoluta en Galicia, pero vuelve a ganar las elecciones.
    Durante años el equipo de investigación de Sacapuntas ha estado indagando en los motivos del éxito de este señor, incomprensible.
(su éxito y el propio señor).

    Al final llegamos a la conclusión de que los motivos para votar a Fraga eran un obscuro secreto guardado por los gallegos de generación en degeneración; pero nadie lo sabe con certeza ....
(cortinilla: un signo de interrogación crece en la pantalla conteniendo
la nueva imagen)

    Nuestro equipo se desplazó a Galicia para hacer una investigación in situ. Los lugareños se mostraban reacios a explicarnos sus motivos para votar a Fraga, y usaban un dialecto incomprensible para despistarnos. Sin duda algún lenguaje en clave, milenario...

(dentrooo...!! música inquietante)

    A la mañana siguiente uno de nuestros reporteros llegó a nuestro centro de investigación en Galicia, un motel en la nacional 525.
    Llevaba en sus manos un documento, una fotocopia de un manuscrito de 1706. Lo que leímos nos dejó helado: la partida de nacimiento de D. Manuel Fraga Iribarne. Una prueba irrefutable de que el ministro franquista tenía cerca de 300 años...
    Nos miramos con los ojos fuera de las órbitas (dentro efecto 'Ally McBeal'!)

    Se nos planteaban un montón de cuestiones:

¿Cuál era la causa de la inmortalidad de Fraga? ¿Merece la pena la inmortalidad? ¿Es inmortal incluso aunque le cortaran la cabeza? ¿Si hubiese un ataque nuclear y sus restos quedasen vaporizados, reducidos a cenizas, sus átomos seguirían viviendo para siempre? ¿Cómo es la vida sexual después de los 200?

A pesar de nuestros denodados esfuerzos, sólo hemos encontrado respuesta para la primera pregunta: El resto son 'No','Sí','Sí','N/A' (no aplicable).

Y aquí está por fin, todo el misterio desvelado:

Hitler buscó con ahínco el Grial en España, pero no fue ese fascista quién lo encontró. En Sacapuntas.net hemos demostrado que la fuente de la "eterna juventud" de Fraga proviene precisamente del hallazgo, en algún momento de su vasta existencia del poderoso Santo Grial.
    Aquí vemos una foto de Fraga portando orgulloso la santa copa, conteniendo sin duda algún fuerte licor.



Es una foto de archivo, que no nos explicamos cómo ha podido pasar desapercibida hasta ahora.

    Como prueba final, aportamos un documento, una carta escrita de puño y letra por Manuel Fraga dirigida al difunto Juan Pablo II. Data de 1996.

Muy señor mío:
    No sin remitirle mis masddf atentoisfd fratermrdsones do noso pueblo galego, y en nombre do presfogioesa xunta [...](texto incomprensible)
    Hei de decirlle a todo o meu fesar, que o seu artiluxo non funciona, despois de  remitir esta misiva aos seus ultimos 15 predecesores ningún respetoume de forma  convincente.
    Este cachivache seu ha de ter algun boton, formula ou resorte que inda
non encontrei e que o faria funcionar millo do que o que o fai actualmente; rogo me explique millor o seu funcionamento ou que remita un novo Santo Grial a:
    Residencia as Praderas Soleadas (Vilaba - Lugo)
    volvo disculaisdr te meu forreoiso fur pobloes intendimento unasd vez mais.
   
        Atte.
                    D. Manuel Fraga Iribarne
  
    Pedimos disculpas por la deficiente traducción, nuestros tres servidores ultra-SPARC (modelo MISTERY, herederos del ENIGMA de la II Guerra Mundial)  para romper cifrados han trabajado en paralelo durante dos semanas, sólo para conseguir esta pobre aproximación.
    Aquí concluye nuestra investigación, deseando que Fraga no descubra nunca el mecanismo de su increíble hallazgo y que termine dominando el mundo...

¿O acaso ya lo hace?

(y..... fundido en negro!)

(*) Gracias a coLL de IRC-Hispano por colaborar en la investigación.

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