Accidentes mortales

En televisión, en anuncios y en los carteles luminosos de las autopistas: "Mismo fin de semana año anterior 115 muertos" (que da un buen rollo que te cagas) se nos recuerda constantemente que hemos de extremar las precauciones cuando cogemos el coche.
Cada fin de semana muere gente en nuestras carreteras... Cada fin de semana son decenas de personas menos que potencialmente podrían entrar en Sacapuntas.net y clickar en la publicidad. Por tanto, CUIDATE.

Desde Sacapuntas.net os recordarmos una vez más algunas de las medidas básicas para evitar accidentes al volante, y las causas que con más frecuencia los provocan.

  • No tomes bebidas calientes antes de conducir, relajan el organismo. Si toma refrescos, que sean fríos, y si tomas whisky o vodka siempre con piedras de hielo.

  • Mantén siempre un ambiente húmedo dentro del coche. De lo contrario se produce sequedad e irritación en los ojos y mucosas, especialmente de la nariz si eres consumidor habitual de cocaína.

  • Abejas y avispas son una de las causas principales de accidentes. Lleva siempre a mano un buen insecticida, o en su defecto desodorante y un mechero.

  • El cinturón de seguridad es la otra gran amenaza del conductor. Si te quedas dormido al volante tu cabeza caerá sobre el cláxon y te despertarás de inmediato (para eso está el cláxon en esa posición). El cinturón de seguridad evita que te despiertes, provocando accidentes. Además, tras las copiosas comidas de antes del viaje, el cinturón puede provocarte un corte de digestión.

  • Jamás limpies los espejos retrovisores. Sus reflejos en los días soleados del verano pueden cegarte mientras conduces.

  • No abuses del teléfono móvil mientras conduces, sus radiaciones provocan cáncer.

  • Lleva la música a todo volumen. Las distracciones producidas por las conversaciones con el resto de ocupantes del vehículo suponen perder la concentración en la conducción. El volumen de la música te impedirá oir a tus acompañantes.

Cómo veis son trucos muy sencillos que nacen del sentido común.

Además, existen ciertas señales o condiciones bajo las que hay que extremar las precauciones cuando vamos al volante.

Presencia de viejas en la calzada: Ante la presencia de viejas en nuestras autopistas en un número mayor de uno habremos de moderar la velocidad hasta que se disuelvan. Al ser personas de escasa movilidad esto puede durar más tiempo del acostumbrado.

Lluvia densa: Cuando llueve no pasa nada, pero si luego sale el sol los retrovisores estarán limpios. Mucho ojo.

Velocidad excesiva: Puede levantar la ira y las quejas entre el resto de ocupantes del vehículo. Sube el volumen de tu radio como se indicó anteriormente.

Baches o calzada en mal estado: Son los enemigos número uno de la digestión. Atraviéselos los más rápidamente posible.

Presencia de animales salvajes: Si es de noche, apague los faros, los animales se asustan con facilidad ante unos focos potentes, haciendo que su comportamiento sea impredecible.

Conducción a través de las llamadas "comunidades históricas":  Oculte cualquier signo regional de su propia comunidad, banderas de españa, esvásticas nazis, fotografías de Aznar o Bush en el salpicadero. Disminuirá la irritabilidad del resto de conductores.

Conducción a través de la comunidad de Madrid: Salga provisto de unos dados y un cubilete, el azar determinará de forma oportuna el carril por el que debe circular.

Conducción ante situación de holocausto nuclear o guerra bacteriológica:
Cierre las ventanillas de su automóvil.

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