Tomate futurista

Tras muchos años de cuidadoso entrenamiento y lavado cerebral había convencido al resto de habitantes de la casa para que pusieran la fecha de apertura en los briks de tomate frito.
Cuando abres la nevera y te encuentras un brik abierto por no se quién en no se qué lejano y oscuro pasado, comienza un proceso de desconfianza que termina en una paranoia apenas reconocida y con el brik en cuestión en el fondo del cubo de basura, prácticamente lleno. Coloqué un bolígrafo encima de la nevera y comenzó mi proceso educador, cualquier cosa por aliviar mi atormentada mente de las trivialidades igualmente perturbadoras y poder concetrarme en circunstancias más interesantes que la caducidad de la salsa de tomate.
Así, cuando alguien abre un nuevo brik de tomate frito, anota la fecha en la que realiza la acción, con lo que ya nunca un brik de tomate puede pasarse semanas enteras de forma inadvertida en la nevera sin ser retirado, evitando muertes innecesarias.
Sin embargo fue peor el remedio que la enfermedad. Un buen día en el que me preparo unos tortellini del carrefour, voy a la nevera en busca de un brik de tomate y leo en uno de sus laterales: 18/03/06. Escrito con lamentable caligrafía y apretando tanto el bolígrafo que a punto estaba de atravesar el cartón.
Me quedo de pie delante de la nevera aún abierta (hay que protegerse del calor) y mi mente evoca inusitados parajes futuristas, viajes en el tiempo y máquinas fabulosas alimentadas por ondas eléctricas viajando por el aire. Señores tenía en mis manos, ohh en forma de simple objeto tetraédrico, la prueba de la existencia de los ooparts, de los objetos que viajan y aparecen de forma anacrónica en el lugar más inesperado. Tenía en mis manos un brik de tomate abierto en el futuro. Un brik de tomate que, a pesar de que mis ojos veían la abertura, y la rebaba de tomate alrededor de ella muestra inequívoca de que había sido usado... aún permanecía cerrado en el presente. Pero no tenía sólo eso en mis manos, no. Tenía ante mí un tomate que no caducaría hasta al menos el 18 de marzo de 2006. Un tomate fantástico, como nunca se ha inventado, que aguanta un año en la nevera abierto, sin corromperse ni enmohecerse. No podía desperdiciarlo con mis tortellini, en absoluto. Aquel prisma de cartón era el objeto de mi nuevo culto, un amigo atemporal. Gracias Orlando.

Comentarios:

Anónimo el 14/7/2005 - 15:46

Ummmm, tengo sospechas de que la maquina de H.G. Wells ha penetrado en tu nevera, ignoraba que tenia la forma de brik de tomate, curiosa manera de viajar en el tiempo. Será el tomate la llave hacia el futuro?, la clave de nuestros deseos mas oscuros? sería la historia Charlie y la fabrica de tomate Solis y no el chocolate???? ummmm curioso interrogante

thessoro el 17/7/2005 - 20:34

pues si la máquina del tiempo ha penetrado en mi nevera, ahi se va a quedar, no pienso devolvérsela ni a H.G. Wells ni a nadie. Todo lo que me encuentro en la nevera es míioooo.

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