Mira quién baila

Holaa amiguitos de sacapuntas!!!!
Como me gusta tanto escribir aquí y sois tan majos y tan de todo, thessoro me ha encargado que escriba la crónica del programa de televisión "Mira Quién Baila". Ese presentado por Anne Igartiburu en el que hacen bailar a famosos y luego se puntúan entre ellos, y gana uno y eso.
Thessoro me ha dicho que lo haga en plan de crítica, que haga un esfuerzo, y que incluya al menos los siguiente términos (me anotó la lista en una servilleta):
  • Bodrio insufrible
  • Inevitable sopor
  • Descarado y rastrero peloteo
  • Formato trasnochado
Como no tengo ni idea de lo que significan ninguna de esas cosas, la haré a mi manera, salga mejor o peor.
Empezaré por lo principal, la presentadora. Anne Igartiburu es maravillosa, tan guapa y tan maja, tiene pinta de ser buena persona, recta y católica.

Thessoro dice que por internet circulan rumores de que es hermafrodita.

- ¿Qué significa hermafrodita, thessoro? Pregunto.
- Pues... hija, como los caracoles - me dice.
- ¿Anne Igartiburu es como un caracol? -
- Sí hija sí, hermafrodita, lenta y babosa.

Pero es muy buena chica igualmente, no me suena que eso esté en la lista de pecados capitales, ni tampoco en los de provincias.
Pues nada, los famosos, van y bailan. El otro día salió María del Monte bailando hip hop, pero me pareció muy raro, porque no vi el hip-hop por ningún sitio. A mí me gustaba mucho el hip-hop de pequeña, movía la cintura hacia delante y hacia atrás haciéndolo rodar por mi cuerpo. Recuerdo que Justino se me quedaba mirando y me aplaudía, aunque le gustaba más cuando saltaba a la comba.
Cuando terminan de bailar, otros famosos les puntúan, y se dicen cosas muy bonitas. Es un programa familiar, sin insultos ni blasfemias.
Mi padre también lo ve, pero algunos bailes no le gustan nada, dice que son agarrados y que el programa debería emitirse más tarde, con el resto de la pornografía.
- Es sólo un baile, papá -
- ¿Tu has leído en la Biblia que Jesús empezase a bailar con las prostitutas en medio del templo?
- No papá - Y es verdad, en la Biblia Jesús no baila ni una sola vez. Pero bueno, tampoco se ducha, sólo cuando Bautista se lo echa todo por encima. Todo el agua del Jordán, pero nunca más.
Con mi primo Segis he bailado muchas veces, y no hacíamos nada malo, y me agarraba por la cintura y se frotaba, y ponía los ojos en blanco porque el baile es una forma más de expresión. Una forma como otra cualquiera de acercarse a Dios.
Por tanto, este programa es una forma como otra cualquiera de ver a Dios, y cuanto más alta sea la nota que dan los jueces a los bailarines, más cerca lo ves, y más Grande y Todopoderoso es.
Gracias Anne Igartiburu!!!

Comentarios:

infinit el 19/7/2005 - 00:51

Cada vez escribimos menos eh... podría haber dado mucho más de si, además no hemos leido la crítica!!

Anónimo el 19/7/2005 - 10:49

Llego aquí gracias a Ciclodí y no me imaginaba que iba a partirme el pecho de tal forma. Sólo tengo un par de dudas: no estoy seguro de que la Igartiburu esa hermafrodita, más bien parece algo extraterrestre, como Nieves Herrero o Michael Jackson; tampoco tengo claro que con lo del baile de los famosos te acerques más a Dios, porque la experiencia puede llegar a ser un Infierno; y por último, lo de la pornografía del baile agarrao va a ser verdad, sino mirad el reguetón (¿se escribe así?, aunque lo deseable sería eliminar la palabra, el concepto y todo lo que lleva aparejado del imaginario popular).
PD: Creo que volveré, me troncho

rita (mmes1d at hotmail dot com) el 19/12/2005 - 19:36

si alguien tiene algun dato donde exponga claramente que anne es hermafrodita q lo ponga q es un dilema q tenemos mi compañera de piso y yo, yo tb lo habia oido.........por favor..esta una cena en juego....jajajajaj
gracias

thessoro (thessoro at gmail dot com) el 8/1/2006 - 18:58

Me temo Rita que tendríamos que preguntar a su ginecólogo/urólogo para saberlo.
Es un misterio que nos tiene a todos en vilo.
En los primeros 8 días de Enero, el 28% de las visitas que llegaron a la web vía Google lo hicieron buscando "anne igartiburu hermafrodita". Así que interés en saberlo hay.

kevin (janssen326 at hotmail dot com) el 16/5/2006 - 18:01

soy unos jilipollas de mierda, hijos de puta.eso es todo
jajajajaja
q on den
xDD

lara el 9/6/2006 - 08:58

jeje,la critika bastante suave me a parecido! ane igartiburu es hermafrodita,esta claro,ademas de patetika por creerse graciosa e ir de pelotera por la vida! (corason,corason..ooo eso no es de ella??:S) weno el caso es q ese programa es todo un bodrio insufrible en el q famosetes van a dar el cante a q les tiren flores y a creerse q invierten su tiempo en aprender algo y divertir a los demas..y si,nose divierten xq cualkiera q vea el programa se parte de risa! ay algo peor q ver a maria del monte bailando hiphop?? a si!! verla subida a la cintura del grandote ese q nose como se llama! y yo me pregunto..esa gente no tiene familia,amigos,gente q les kiera lo suficiente pa decirles q estarian mejor en sus casas q no haciendo el ridiculo en plató?? esta claro q no! en fin,tp kiero hablar de mas,pero me parece otro programa basura de la 1,de esos a los q nos tienen acostumbrados...un saludo!!

los mas!! el 6/10/2006 - 14:44

anne(esa mujer u hombre), nosotros te apoyamos...sabemos q no eres la única, conocemos a ciencia cierta que nikole kidman es de las tuyas y por eso no nos estraña q tom cruise estuviera con ella ya q es homosesuá!!!
PD:para el gangoso de kevin que dice:"que on den", haber si aprendemos a hablar!!

maria el 10/12/2006 - 18:07

hola! keria preguntar si alguno sabe la cancion de hip hop d guillermo martin bailo la ultima gala, gracias!

jorge el 10/12/2006 - 18:08

la cancion de hip hop estaba chulisima si alguno sabe el titulo decirlo!!!

Maggie May el 18/12/2006 - 20:49

Estoy trabajando, empiezo a cotillear con mis compañeras de curro sobre si Anne Igartiburu es hermafrodita, busco en San Google para confirmar y me aparece la web del capullo de mi amigo. Eres un crack!!! Pues eso, estas Navidades me explicarás porque las dudas me asaltan... imagenes de documentales de la TVE2 se agolpan en mi mente. Por ejemplo, si Anne no pone medios se puede embarazar a si misma, que guay!! Supongo que no... Y Nicole Kidman también?? Me mola, ahora más que nunca "Nosotras parimos, nosotras decidimos" Hasta siempre corazones

muñeca el 18/1/2007 - 20:40

hola a todos! bueno realmente no se muy bien quienes sois ni que tipo de web es esta, el caso es que el otro dia estaba yo intentando hacer un trabajo para clase, soy universitaria y si, los muy hijosputas de mis profes me ponene trabajos que hacer en epoca de examenes, el trabajo es en grupo, así que quedo con mis compis en uno de esos dias en los que harias cualquier cosa con tal de no estuidar o hacer algo productivo, cmo por ejemplo hacer limpieza general o esas cosas que nunca te apetece hacer.
hablábamos de la crionización porque claro nunca se sabe si en 300 años aunque te crionices muerto sabrán como despertarte, y también sobre como molaría hacer un clon en exámenes ( no uno q naciese y fuese un bebe, claro sino ya puestos a elegir uno igualito q tu q sea de estilo robot y pueda aprender lo que a ti te ha costado veintitantos años y te sustituya para lo peor)y mientras darte la vida padre, y salió el tema por el que os he encontrado: anne igartiburu es hermafrodita!!!
q fuerte, no?? segun me contaba mi amiga , una amiga suya ( se q esto siempre suena igual, pero en esta ocasion es verídico) estudia medicina, y la tia es en plan seria, de esas q no se inventan, exageran o colorean la realidad para q parezcan más fascinantes las cosas, weno pues hablando de los hermafroditas, pusieron de ejemplo a esta mujer/hombre?? el caso es que cuando se lo comentas a la gente de tu entorno te dice...q va!! y cuando lo piensa al ratillo dice....bueno el caso es q tiene una espalda muy ancha, las muñecas asi como de hombre....( q yo no pense q la gente se fijara en esas cosas la verdad, y mira q yo soy observadora!! y nada, el caso es q me parece muy muy muy fuerte!! pero mira, si lo es....pues pobre mujer, porque claro no puede tener churumbeles, y como ella es todo corazón seguro q la jode bastante....
en fin una estudiante q se despide, porque acabo de tener uno de esos momento de consultar cualquier cosa en San Google y debo ponerme a estudiar!! si teneis mas noticias... informar!!

Checarlitos (castro-carlos at lycos dot es) el 9/6/2007 - 09:05

¿Cómo es eso de Anne hermafrodita? ¿Tiene coño o polla o ambos?

xmen el 18/9/2007 - 15:16

coños dijan anne en paz si eres hermafrodito te gusta

satan el 18/9/2007 - 15:18

y tambien nicol kidman es hermafrodita pero me encanta

2016722yuanyuan (kyuanyuan921 at 163 dot com) el 22/7/2016 - 16:35

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201716 yuanyuan (kyuanyuan921 at 163 dot com) el 6/1/2017 - 21:22

lcklck16 (daigege2 at gmail dot com) el 18/1/2017 - 09:04

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WilliamPoown (williamwig at mail dot ru) el 18/1/2017 - 09:06


Solo una impresion positiva de ella. Miembro de crecimiento en longitud y circunferencia. Este satisfechos mi esposa, que nunca habia visto! Alexander, 41 anos: un tubo grande, bata el tiempo suficiente. Me untarlo todos los dias al mismo tiempo, maximizar la eficiencia. El hombre, escuchar de la mujer amada durante una frase argumento: tan bien pequeno baul, que se llevara a su corazon estas palabras. Se puede replegarse sobre si mismos se avergonzaran del tamano de su dignidad, incluso despues de la paz con una amiga. Estas palabras entraran en mi cabeza durante mucho tiempo, incluso puede debilitar las erecciones empeoran la calidad de la vida sexual para estar cerca de la impotencia. Como evitar las consecuencias de consuelo? ?Se puede dejar de tomar en serio las palabras de las mujeres? Pero esto no corrige el problema. Si usted realmente piensa que su pene es pequeno, entonces una urgente necesidad de aumentarlo. Anadir pene 5 cm de longitud hara Crema Maxi Size. ?Que tipo de medicamento? Maxi crema Tamano de la ampliacion del pene ultimas novedades de los principales cientificos del mundo. Le permite, literalmente, un mes para hacer que el pene como los pornoaktera: una gruesa, larga. Con gel, que definitivamente no avergonzarse del falo, por el contrario, va a mostrarse delante de parejas sexuales. Excelente producto, que se ha convertido en una alternativa a la faloplastia, incluso supero este metodo de cirugia. Despues de cama Maxi no tiene efectos secundarios, contraindicaciones. Las consecuencias de la faloplastia puede ser un miembro de la deformidad, la disfuncion erectil, la sensibilidad del pene, supurante, rechazo de trasplantes. Ademas, la cirugia es un procedimiento costoso. Y no puede ser llevada a cabo por los hombres que tienen problemas con la coagulacion de la sangre, el corazon, los rinones, los pulmones, el higado. Una cama de Maxi Size opera a la vez, no tiene consecuencias negativas del uso, es mucho mas barato que la cirugia. Esto vale la pena intentarlo? Comprar Maxi Size es necesario que cada hombre que quiere: Aumentar la longitud del pene, el grosor.

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